I read an article with layers of meaning, to understand and to know that there were layers beneath the obvious I had to be astute, analytical, and open-minded. Often, we say things, do things, and write things that have a hidden meaning even if we don’t realise it consciously.
Have you ever wanted to go to a masquerade ball, or party? I know I have. Why? Because I want to be someone else, I want to do things that the real world shadows my ambitions and inhibits me from acting on them. The things that I keep behind the “veil of ignorance” (derived from the philosopher John Rawls). My definition of the term differs from Rawl’s theory. His is that we are to make moral decisions behind a veil of ignorance to avoid prejudice, to benefit the overall instead of the favouring of one. My version is that of I know what is behind that curtain but no one else does. When that curtain drops and falls away would anyone recognize me? Would I be better or worse for it?
That is why it is hidden. It is also why I wish to have a night or day as someone else. To let the wall crumble away and unveil everything, but my identity, to the light.
This is not true for everyone. This is just another peak into the grey area of my life, that I relish and thrive in. Those who know this other side are thoroughly thrilled to be in on the little secret. To be granted access behind the veil.
Behind the mask is the utmost truest form of yourself. Yet as the mask of everyday life settles over our faces we are, at best, a fraction of our truest self in the light of day. When the night sky settles above who will you become, what mask will be upon thy face?
Is it deceiving others to hide aspects of ourself? Are we just deceiving ourselves?
There are a fortunate few who can apply the practice of a well and true mask upon their face and still be true to themselves; the exception to the quote above. It is a struggling practice. To be true and yet deceiving to others. It’s the extreme grace of social etiquette. We show what we need to in situations, but still reflect the nature of our soul and identity. There is no hiding, just withholding. There is no facade. It is no alter ego.
Imagine yourself at a masquerade where you are unquestionably anonymous. Do all your worries fall away? Do you imagine exhaling a breathe with sheer relief?
People may say that is how life should be, always. I disagree to a point. I think that I need that other part of myself in my control. I pick and choose who sees it with the rest of me. If I want to be anonymous that doesn’t mean I am hiding myself away, or deceiving others. It is about the power and the control. That side always glitters in my eyes and for those who truly know me can that, but for the most part it only shows a mystery to discover in my glittering eyes. I am confident in everything when I am behind that anonymity.
I can let the stress of my past and present fall away and just be myself, my name does not enter the equation of my identity.
Those will always believe that there is a deceived and then there is the deceiving in this world. Apparently I am the deceiving in their opinion. Do I let that bother me? No, never. I live blissfully happy with all side of myself, even though the veil is not always visible to others.
The question remains: what is below the surface? Will you know when you see it?