“Lust feels like love until it is time to make a sacrifice.”
“The desire of love is to give. The desire of lust is to take.”
A lot of the time physical entanglement with other people can lead to thinking about being with that person, you think it is love, but in all reality what you are feeling is between a crush and love; infatuation. You want to have that love so badly that you make the person you are with – into something that they are not, especially if you entered a relationship in a purely physical way; ‘friends with benefits’ ring a bell?
When people say or refer a purely physical relationship to ‘friends with benefits’ it is infuriating because hooking up with someone you don’t care to get to know, and still call it ‘friends with benefits’. To call that anything other than hooking up is a misjudgment.
Infatuation is a cruel feeling that our own mind and heart come up with. It feels like love, although it is barely comparable to the big L word; like a whisper or a small piece of the puzzle that is love. It feels and may look the same but once some time passes you may realize that you’ve been molding yourself and the person you think you are in love with into something it is not meant to be. Although this experience may be what was supposed to happen, to have that knowledge for when the right person comes along you will know the difference. After some more time passes and you understand what you made it out to be and move on.
I had a friend ask himself and then tell me that if it was real love then why is he not married? Why is he not with that person that he loved? It is hard to answer questions like that so I told him this:
Yes, you were in love but not all love is meant to be forever. Sometimes it is meant to help you grow and learn, as bad as it may sound it is a path that you are taking in life. It is like opening doors in a hallway. You may love the person through the first door completely but that life may not be for you with that person /or that person is not going to influence you and help you be the person that is truly and utterly you.
He told me how he sees love is this: “I feel as though I was in love. Everyone defines it differently, some by the utter care for the other person some by the lust. There are some that cannot even explain to you why they are in love. I feel love by many things, I believe that when in love one is amused by the other. This not only being physically but also mentally. They feed off of each others thoughts, feelings and words. A couple in love seamlessly get along. When confronted by an issues or opinions differ they are able to communicate and come to understand each other in a place where both of them grow a little together. It is the blending of two into one. I have been in love and have felt a connection and a blending of souls. I have craved that feeling since it stopped and am currently encased in a small crate of thoughts.” Then he told me to fix his spelling, grammar and structure so it would flow and resonate better, to be understood. Oh, and I changed some of the words.
Have I been in love?
That is the question of the day.